I was talking with my mom the morning of Thanksgiving, asking her questions about my turkey preparation. I told her that before I stuffed it, I dried the inside with a paper towel. As I was doing this, I said to Brent, "I don't know if this is necessary, but I remember watching my mom always do this." My mom laughed, telling me the reason she did it was because she watched her mom do it. We both laughed at ourselves, recalling the story about the young bride who cut off the ends of the roast because her mom did it. And her mom did it because her mom did it. And the reason the grandma did it is because her pot wasn't big enough for the roast.
I had just recently been thinking about holiday traditions, remembering a talk given by Sister Cheryl C. Lant at General Conference last spring. She spoke on establishing righteous traditions in our families. These were her poignant questions:
"What kinds of traditions do we have? Some of them may have come from our fathers, and now we are passing them along to our own children. Are they what we want them to be? Are they based on actions of righteousness and faith? Are they mostly material in nature, or are they eternal? Are we consciously creating righteous traditions, or is life just happening to us? Are our traditions being created in response to the loud voices of the world, or are they influenced by the still, small voice of the Spirit? Are the traditions that we are creating in our families going to make it easier for our children to follow the living prophets, or will they make it difficult for them?"
Growing up in the Catholic faith, I remember attending a special Christmas mass called the Hanging of the Greens. It marked the beginning of the Advent Season, a four week time period prior to Christmas in which we prepared for the coming of Christ. We began lighting the Advent wreath. It was an evergreen wreath that held five candles of symbolic colors, one to be lit each week and the last candle, a white one in the center, to be lit on Christmas Eve. Each candle represented a specific purpose that would be a step in preparing us for the coming of Christ. On Christmas Eve we would attend mass, and then gather at my aunt’s house for a meal and to exchange gifts as a family. I remember my sisters, my cousins and myself being so anxious to open our first Christmas gifts
(even though we always knew it would be pajamas, socks, underwear, or some other undesirable article of clothing). And of course, we would go to bed that night with our stockings all hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
Looking back, Brent and I had only one Christmas together with Megan before we separated. Our first Christmas together again as a family was five years later. At that time we had just moved to Utah and had become homesick for celebrating Christmas with our extended families. We spent that first Christmas back in California.
Since then you can say we've been doing alot of letting "life just happen to us". We always do the usual holiday stuff....we shop, we wrap, we bake. We attend the parties, the programs, and the productions. We donate, deliver, and deck the halls. But to what end?
The absences of the Advent season, Christmas Eve mass, and my children's grandparents nearby have left a vacancy in my Christmas seasons that I've struggled to fill. While once again attempting to resolve my annual dilemma, I had an inspiring thought. The idea came to me to incorporate the traditions of my childhood into our Christmases of today. I want to shift from just participating in holiday activities to establishing meaningful traditions; traditions that will help us remember our Savior while partaking of all the goodness of this joyous Season. We will begin (tonight) four Mondays before Christmas Eve. Each week we will hold a special family home evening with a specific theme.
Week 1: Service. We will show our love for the Savior and gratitude for His
Eternal Sacrifice by giving of ourselves to others through service. We will review scriptures associated with service and discuss ideas for daily service opportunities. We will hang our service stocking in which we will place a marble for every act of service performed throughout the Season. The idea is that by Christmas, the stocking will be heavy to represent others’ burdens we have lightened through service.
We will also cho
ose a family service project. One of Brent's childhood memories is doing the 12 days of Christmas. We repeated that tradition our first two Christamses as newlyweds. Fun memories. Over the years we've experimented with different ones. Last year our neighborhood came up with the idea of contributing to a local family shelter in lieu of exchanging gifts among neighbors. Each family purchased the desired items on their adopted family's list and then we all gathered together at one neighbor's home to enjoy some holiday cheer. The kids enjoyed choosing gifts for the family we adopted, and I didn't have to redirect their focus like I thought I would.
Week 2: Symbols. On this night we will discuss the symbolic nature of ordinances, and how they all bear record of Jesus Christ. We will also discuss the symbols of Christmas. This is the night we will also decorate our Christmas tree.
Week 3: Preparation. We will talk of John the Baptist and his foreordaine
d mission to prepare the way of the Lord. We will set a specific individual goal for the upcoming year that will focus on improving ourselves so that we may be better prepared to meet our Savior.
Later in the week we will attend the temple, participating in the ordinances that are preparatory to receiving the blessings of exaltation. In years to come, we hope to be joined by our children, and eventually their spouses.
Week 4: Family. Last year we got together with nearby extended family. We grazed, and visited, and sang our favorite Christmas songs. Hoping to continue this year what we started last year.
Christmas Eve: Reflection and celebration. In years past, my feelings on this night can best be compared to the parable of the ten virgins. I've felt much like the five foolish virgins whose lamps were empty when the call to meet the Bridegroom was made. Attempting anything spiritual on this night, to me, was much like running to get my oil at the last minute. By giving purpose to our holiday activities, I'm hoping this year I will feel more like the five wise virgins whose lamps were full and thus prepared to go into the marriage.
On this night, we will gather as a family around our Christmas tree and reflect on what we have done to prepare ourselves for the coming of Christ. And then we will begin our celebration. I most enjoy watching my children's excitement as they open their first Christmas gifts. I love the tradition of
setting out cookies for Santa and carrots for his reinde
er, as it always sparks their wonderings as to what he will bring them. When the time comes to quiet our celebration, and to quiet our thoughts, we will read of Christ's birth and reflect on its meaning in our lives. And then finally we will nestle these, our children, all snug in their beds, so that visions of sugar-plums may dance in their heads.
Hope your holiday was merry and bright too!
